In her book Grief Works, psychotherapist Julia Samuel observes that we can speak freely with friends and family about holidays, relationships and the most intimate parts of our lives, yet we rarely talk about death. It is one of the few things that touches everyone, but still feels too difficult to discuss.
This silence comes at a cost. When we avoid talking about death, we also avoid the chance to share our wishes, prepare those we love and bring comfort to one another. Instead, many families are left to make decisions in moments of grief, unsure of what their loved one would have wanted.
Why We Stay Silent
For most people, the subject of death feels too heavy, too final, or simply too far away to think about. We do not want to upset those we care about, and we convince ourselves that there will always be time later. But as Julia Samuel reminds us, it is often the things left unsaid that bring the greatest pain.
Our own research reflects this hesitation. One in three people in the UK have never had a proper conversation about what they would want when they die. Many describe feeling unsure how to begin. Yet those who have started the conversation often say it brought relief and a sense of peace.
The Power of Talking About Death
Talking about death does not make it happen sooner. It helps us live with greater clarity and compassion. These conversations give loved ones confidence in knowing what to do, and help ensure that our values, memories and wishes are honoured.
It can begin simply. A short chat over dinner, a mention of a song you would like played, or a story about how you wish to be remembered. Each small step opens the door to something deeper.
A Moment for Reflection
We spend so much time planning for milestones in life, yet how often do we plan for the one thing we all share? What would happen if you began that conversation today? Who would you want to speak to, and what would you want them to know?
Taking a moment to reflect now could make all the difference later.
Your legacy, organised. Your family, supported.